The Most Bizarre Christmas
by Marauder777
Summary: Lily Evans is joined by the Dursleys, Potter and Black on Christmas day. How did she end up spending her favourite day of the year with her least favourite people in the world? Evans tries to get through a Christmas dinner without pissing off Petunia and raising more suspicion from the Dursleys. Sadly, she must keep Black and Potter in check. How Bloody fantastic.


**AN:**** Hello guys, thanks for stopping by. Welcome to this short fic, which will be a short story. **

**In a nutshell, I love Christmas and the Marauders are my favourite arc of the Harry Potter series. So I decided to combine the two. **

**This has been written in first person (Lily's view) which was INCREDIBLY difficult. I usually don't like POVs, but I was kind of going for a Bridget Jones diary thing. Kind of. **

**For the sake of this fic, the Marauders and Lily are in sixth year and Petunia is already engaged, which I know wavers from the book. We'll also pretend that they can all apparate at this point in time. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. **

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**Chapter 1: A most bizarre Christmas arrangement.**

_19 December 1976_

I'm irritated. Perturbed. Irked. Annoyed. _Utterly frustrated_.

The Dursleys were spending Christmas with us.

Whoop-dee-doo.

The tragedy was announced at breakfast this morning. My mother so casually mentioned Christmas dinner and possible seating arrangements for the Dursleys, as if nothing were amiss. God only knows why she seemed so calm about the whole affair.

"Pet, will Vernon's sister also be joining us for Christmas dinner? I need to know if I should seat Vernon's parents next to Lily or- "

Petunia and I both immediately cut off our mother.

"Mum I don't think..." Petunia began in an urgent tone.

I dropped my jam-covered knife and stared at mum in horror. "You can't be serious!" I half-shrieked.

_Whoops. I accidently voiced my thoughts. _

Petunia shot me an icy glare. Mum looked at me disapprovingly.

"Now Lily" Rose Evans said sternly. "The Dursleys are soon to be family, with the engagement and all. I expect you to be hospitable and act appropriately towards our guests."

"But mum… Christmas dinner!? Why can't we just wait until the wedding to- "

"Enough. They are invited and we will have a nice family dinner and- "

Petunia scoffed. "Or the _freak_ could just not come and make it easier for all of us". She gave me a pointed look, daring me to say or do anything that would suggest otherwise.

"Petunia." Dad said warningly. "Lily is your sister. How could you suggest that she doesn't spend Christmas dinner with her own family?" Petunia scowled at the tablecloth. "And I will not tolerate name calling under my roof." I smirked at my half-covered jam scone. I was so used to being called _freak_ that it didn't even upset me anymore. Instead, I started to find it amusing that Petunia still thought she could cut me down with that recycled insult.

_It's not like I haven't been called worse at Hogwarts_.

"And Lily." Dad continued. The smirk quickly vanished. "You will listen to your mother. You will be a good host. And." He paused for extra emphasis. "You will not bait Vernon." At the last instruction, a ghost of a smile appeared on Daniel Evans face. Dad knew how much I detested Vernon, and I knew he silently agreed with my assessments of the whale. He only tolerated the man because he saw how happy he made Petunia.

I let out a long huff. "Fine" I said grumpily. Both mum and dad let out a relieved sigh whilst Petunia scoffed in annoyance.

"Now that that's settled," mum began brightly, "let's carry on with the plans Petunia."

I tuned them out and focused on my scone, even though I had mostly lost my appetite. By the end of breakfast, arrangements were finalised. The Dursleys would arrive at 10:00 sharp and would be spending the **entire **day with us. Marge was going to join us for Christmas dinner and would be seated next to me.

Bloody fantastic.

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December 25th rolled around the corner. I awoke on Christmas day lacking the usual Christmas cheer. How excited could one be to spend Christmas day with _vermin_ and his folks? Rolling out of bed and huffing in annoyance for the umteenth time, I glanced at my bedside alarm clock to see that it read 7:05.

It's early, but I'm too worked up to go back to sleep. I pulled on my thick woolly socks and bundled up in my dressing gown. I trudged downstairs, bracing myself for the long day ahead. Hopefully they eat and leave. I hope dad doesn't invite them into the living room for tea and whiskey after dinner.

As I neared the bottom step, I heard muffled voices outside the front door. I walked through the hallway, wondering if either Christmas carollers or Jehovah's were getting an early start this year. Silently praying they were neither, I opened the front door, letting a gush of cold air chill me to the bone.

"Evans!" yelled a bespectacled man. Next to him stood his partner in crime, a smirk forming on his handsome features. "Why don't you look lovely fresh out of bed?" said the other in a silky voice.

I was not prepared to see Potter and Black standing on my doorstep.

On Christmas day.

_Could my day get any worse? _

James Potter lifted a nervous hand and ruffled his hair. He seemed surprised to see me, which was odd considering he was standing on _my_ doorstep.

"Can I help you?" I said warily, skipping introductions.

"Merry Christmas my dearest Lily flow- "Sirius began.

"Yeah yeah" I waved a hand impatiently. "What do you want?"

Sirius's smirk deepened. "My my, aren't we feisty. Even on the second greatest day of the year you don't skip a beat."

"Second greatest?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"The first being the day I entered this world and graced you all with my godly existence."

"Ahh right." I said, not even bothering to bring him down a peg. I tapped my foot impatiently, not even slightly caring that I was dressed in my pyjamas in front of my detestable housemates.

James still stood in silence, staring at me with a mixture of shock and awe.

Feeling my irritation begin to stir, I decided to try again. "Before I slam the door, I'll ask once more: Why are you here? At my home? On Christmas day?"

"We're here to invite you to a snowball fight!" James said urgently.

I cocked an eyebrow and stared at the pair as if they had each grown an extra head. Did they honestly come all the way to my home for a mere _snowball fight_?

"… and to wish you a Merry Christmas" Sirius finished somewhat lamely.

I glanced back and forth between James and Sirius. Sirius seemed amused, another smirk playing on his lips. James was the complete opposite. He looked nervous and hopeful at the same time.

Both boys were layered in thick coats against the cold air. An awkward silence engulfed us until I spoke up.

"Shouldn't you be at Hogwarts?" I asked, dodging the invitation.

"Well we were…" James began nervously, again lifting his hand to ruffle his hair. I scowled, and he quickly dropped his hand when he remembered how much it irritated me.

"But Hogwarts is empty!" Sirius cut in dramatically.

I yet again raised an eyebrow.

James, feeling the need to explain themselves, continued. "Most of Gryffindor went home for the holidays. Remus is on holiday with his parents and Peter's mother is strict about him going home for Christmas. The only students left are a few first years. Even the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs went home this year."

"Why don't you also go home then?"

"My parents hate me." Sirius said nonchalantly.

"And my parents are Aurors and are working." James further supplied.

"Oh." I said awkwardly. I chewed my lip, struggling to think of a comeback. "How can we have a snowball fight with just three people?" I questioned after what felt like an eternity.

Sirius brightened. "There's a park close to Potter manor. Every year, a bunch of muggles get together and team up. We know because we used to sneak out when we were younger and play with them."

"We can join them. If you're interested, that is…" James finished hopefully.

I thought long and hard. My immediate response would be to say no but getting out of the house didn't seem like such a bad idea at this point. In another dimension, I would never give Potter the time of day but here I was considering his proposal. As the silence dragged on, James grew more disappointed and Sirius became restless.

After a couple of lifetimes, I finally answered. "Sure, why not?" I said, smiling genuinely for the first time that day. I must have grown an extra head, because this time both Sirius and James stared at me in disbelief. If it wasn't for my current predicament, I would never have in my right mind agreed to have spent Christmas day with Black and Potter. Seeing as they were the lesser of the two evils, I weighed up my options.

If Bellatrix arrived right now and gave the same offer, I'd probably take her up on it.

Anybody was better than the Dursleys.

James squinted at me. "Hell must have frozen over…." He muttered. Sirius quickly overcame his shock and slapped James on the back. James jerked forward as he momentarily lost his balance.

"Told you so Prongs! Not even Evans could turn down a snowball fight with the infamous Prongs and Padfoot!" At first Potter scowled as Black but he immediately broke into a grin at Black's optimism.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't make me change my mind," I lightly threatened. I smiled again because Potter and Black had presented me with a golden escape.

Sirius shuddered. "On second thought, I agree with you Prongs. Evans does look unusually happy to see us."

On cue, mum came down the hall towards me. "Lily, who are you talking to?" Rose Evans reached the front door and was taken aback to see two young boys around Lily's age standing in the cold.

"Mum, this is Pot- James and this is Sirius" I forced myself to say whilst gesturing to the two.

Potter smirked at the use of his name and extended his hand. "Merry Christmas Mrs Evans! Lily has told me so much about you." James said as he shook Rose's hand.

"Only good stuff I hope" Mum smiled as she shook James's hand. I rolled my eyes at that blatant lie; I would never in a million years discuss my family with Potter.

"Seasons Greetings! I can see who Lily gets her beauty from" Sirius said as he bent down and kissed mum's hand. Mum let out a girly giggle whilst I gagged. James looked sheepishly at Sirius.

"Merry Christmas boys." Rose said cheerfully. "Are you Lily's classmates?"

"That we are. We're one big happy Gryffindor family!" James boasted.

That's a bit of a stretch Potter.

"Yes ma'am" Sirius answered.

"Please, call me Rose. You make me sound far too old."

"All right Rose. We just stopped by to invite Lily over to a snowball fight today. I hope you wouldn't mind letting Lily join us for a few hours."

I faltered. In all my eagerness to escape the Dursleys, I completely forgot that whilst it was Christmas day with the Dursleys, there was an expectation for me to help with dinner preparations and just be home for 'family time'. I slowly faced the duo and was about to contradict my prior statement when mum cut me off.

"Of course, Lily can join you." I stared at mum in disbelief, not believing that she would willingly let me do my own thing on Christmas day. "I do however need her to help with breakfast preparations this morning, since it is Christmas" she waved with her hand. "She could join you after breakfast. Say around 9:00?"

James beamed, "That sounds perfect Mrs Evans." He faced me and gave me a toothy grin, which I found to be a little unnerving if I'm being honest.

"Great" Sirius added. "We'll be back for you in a bit Lily flower" he winked. I cringed at the pet name and tried to send Black the dirtiest look I could muster. He responded by blowing a kiss in return. I swallowed my irritation and waved the two off.

"Goodbye Mrs Evans. It was lovely meeting you." James said whilst Sirius nodded.

"Like wise" mum smiled.

James and Sirius turned and walked down the small garden path. I watched them walk until they reached a small clearing. James looked back at me and gave a small wave before the two of them apparated on the spot.

What just happened?

I turned slowly and stared at mum. She too watched Black and Potter apparate before giving me a small smile.

"Why are you letting me go?" I blurted out. Even though I was happy that I was escaping the Dursley's visit, it didn't make sense that mum didn't put up a fight. "It's Christmas day. Why are you letting me leave the house _today_ of all days?"

Mum sighed and gave a knowing smile. "Lils. I know that you don't get on with Vernon. Even with Petunia, as much as it breaks my heart to admit it"

A lump formed in my throat as I stared guiltily at my mum. "It's not like I don't try…"

"I know Lils. I know. Your sister… I know she never truly accepted you for who you are. And I know you have grown apart over the years. I just want to see my girls get along, but I can't force it." I lowered my head and stared at the floor.

"Today's a very important day for Pet," Mum continued. "Besides the fact that its Christmas, it's the first official meeting your father and I will be having with Vernon's parents. It's important to Pet that today goes smoothly. She wants to impress her in-laws. And unfortunately, with you being here, you unintentionally cause Petunia to stress. Especially with your… education."

My breath was sucked out of my body.

"I'm not saying its your fault" mum hurriedly said at my panicked look. "The situation just is what it is. Besides, once they arrive, we'll spend most of the morning discussing the wedding. You don't exactly want to be apart of that do you?"

I immediately shook my head. The thought of planning a pink wedding was enough to make me run for the hills. Mum smiled at me and continued. "It would be best then if you went out for a bit. I know it's not fair, but the best way to be there for your sister is to… not be there and give her space."

A lump formed in my throat and I slowly nodded. What mum was saying made perfect sense, but I hated that I had to be out of the picture just for her to be happy.

On the bright side, that meant an entire day Dursley free.

_Dursley free_.

"But I do want you home for dinner young lady" mum said sternly, wagging a finger at me. "You may have lucked out for this morning, but I expect you to be home by 4 to help for dinner. Petunia will have some relief today, but I will not have you miss a family dinner."

I slowly smiled as I accepted the predicament. "Yes mum. I'll be back in time." Mum pulled me into a bear hug and rubbed my back in soothing circles.

Mum pulled away and tried to shoo me upstairs "Now get changed and come and help me with breakfast. This morning will just be the three of us, so we can exchange gifts and have a quiet morning before the storm arrives." Mum wrinkled her nose and I laughed; I certainly did luck out.

"Yes ma'am" I saluted mum and bolted up the stairs. She tried to look annoyed that I had called her ma'am, but the corners of her mouth curled upwards.

As I reached the top step, mum called up to me. "And Lils?"

I turned and faced down the stairs "Yes mum?"

"Merry Christmas" mum smiled.

I smiled back; my previous rollercoaster of emotions being forgotten. "Merry Christmas mum"

I charged towards my room, marvelling at the strange turn of events.

First the Dursleys, now Potter and Black.

_Hell must have frozen over. _

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